This is a tender moment. Some within our families and communities are heartened by last week’s election results. Others are devastated. It was such an intense election, and feelings are strong for many.
Today, I’m writing for the families, adults, teens, and yes, the children, who are feeling post-election distress or anxiety. Scared. Raw. Angry. Confused. Tearful at unexpected times. And expected times.
I’m writing for myself, as well. And for those I love.
In some ways, I have no words. And, at the same time, there are too many words.
We’re all getting so much input right now – unless we are taking a social media and news break – which is also a choice, even a healthy choice. So I want to keep this simple, while also knowing there isn’t anything simple about this journey.
I’m reflecting on three things today. And over the coming weeks and months, I’ll continue sharing reflections and wisdom from wise traditions while we all keep putting one courageous and compassionate foot in front of the other.
Feel – for real.
As a psychologist, I know it is important to recognize our feelings. And, sometimes it’s darn hard to do. Especially when we’re shut down, distracted, confused, conflicted, or silenced.
Lisa Olivera writes about the vitalness of remembering our fierceness and our compassion at the same time, about holding our tenderness and our courage in our open hands.
So, we do the best we can. As Anne Sexton put it, “put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.”
And don’t just listen hard for the feelings that are showing up. As a psychologist, I also know that listening to the wisdom of our own strength is a gift to ourselves. So, listen hard to words, reminders, and memories that help you reconnect with your resources and resilience, your strength, your wisdom, and your relationships.
Connect with community.
As my friend Francisco Navarro of ResWell shared in a text with me last week, “Community is medicine!”
And it is, isn’t it?
What can you do to connect with others right now?
I’ve been connecting with my stepmom – yes, about how we’re both doing, but also for updates on the two cats, Plato and Socrates, she decided to foster and who were delivered to her house the day after the election. A colleague and friend shared how it lifted her spirits to help her mom hang paintings for her students’ art show at the Pasadena Senior Center. And this week, we hosted a short-notice “Friendsgiving” for our team, our consultants, and colleagues who share the building with us. It was uplifting to spend time together – to feel the warmth of friendship.
Friends are walking together. Doing yoga together. Sharing meals. Or coffee. Or tea. In another kind of connecting, I joined a Zoom meeting with 130,000+ people last Thursday night to talk about where we go from here as we stay committed to our values.
As the Loveland Foundation helps us remember, “It takes courage to remain soft in hard times. Shout out to the ones who can witness the darkness of the world and still hold space for love.” Keep holding space for love.
Stay curious in heart and mind.
Finally, stay curious! Stay curious within yourself. Stay curious about yourself.
Stay curious in conversation with others. Especially with others outside your bubble. Be curious in conversations that are hard. And uncomfortable. Listen with an intent to learn. Genuinely.
These words from bell hooks inspire me in my curiosity, my imagination, and my relationships:
“Imagination is one of the most powerful modes of resistance that oppressed and exploited folks can do and use.”
“When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment. Honesty and openness is always the foundation of insightful dialogue.”
Wisdom to close with – I’ll close with words from Michelle Obama and the 14th century Persian poet Hafiz:
“You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.” -Michelle Obama
“I wish that I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” – A tiny poem, written by the 14th century Persian Sufi poet Hafiz
Wishing you some moments of light and hope in community and curiosity.
